1
00:00:01,849 --> 00:00:03,634
(phone ringing) LINDA:
Will somebody get that?

2
00:00:03,635 --> 00:00:04,751
LOUISE: Gene, why don't
you get the phone?

3
00:00:04,752 --> 00:00:05,968
You're so good at it.

4
00:00:06,004 --> 00:00:07,638
You know, it could be someone

5
00:00:07,639 --> 00:00:09,256
offering free chicken satay...

6
00:00:09,257 --> 00:00:11,508
I'll get it, I'll get it!

7
00:00:11,509 --> 00:00:13,844
Bob's Burg... Aah!
It's all over my ear!

8
00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:15,678
(cackles) You just got gooped.

9
00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:17,597
Aah! Mmm. Grape jelly.

10
00:00:17,682 --> 00:00:19,816
This is the best prank war
we've ever had.

11
00:00:19,817 --> 00:00:21,017
Goop there it is.

12
00:00:21,102 --> 00:00:23,237
Aw! Did I just miss a goop?

13
00:00:23,238 --> 00:00:24,988
(groans) Haven't you kids
done enough gooping?

14
00:00:24,989 --> 00:00:26,189
Never!

15
00:00:26,190 --> 00:00:28,690
Ah! Guacamole!

16
00:00:28,693 --> 00:00:31,111
No! Shaving cream!

17
00:00:31,112 --> 00:00:32,779
Ah! Hummus!

18
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:34,081
Ah! Toothpaste!

19
00:00:34,082 --> 00:00:36,198
Double goop! Double goop!

20
00:00:36,251 --> 00:00:38,619
So, pretty much just
a huge waste of food.

21
00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:40,370
And toiletries.
(phone ringing)

22
00:00:40,371 --> 00:00:41,922
You kids didn't goop the phone
in the kitchen, did you?

23
00:00:41,923 --> 00:00:43,340
Well, there's no way
to know for sure.

24
00:00:43,341 --> 00:00:44,708
It's clean.

25
00:00:44,709 --> 00:00:46,175
I mean, as clean as it ever is.

26
00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,293
Bob's Burgers.

27
00:00:47,378 --> 00:00:48,512
(loudly): Hello, Bob.

28
00:00:48,513 --> 00:00:49,796
It's Skip Marooch.

29
00:00:49,797 --> 00:00:50,963
The celebrity chef!

30
00:00:51,049 --> 00:00:52,466
Skip Marooch. Hi.

31
00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:53,933
I... um, I can barely hear you.

32
00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:55,552
I'm in a helicopter.

33
00:00:55,553 --> 00:00:58,104
I'm searching for exotic spices
for my new book.

34
00:00:58,189 --> 00:01:00,307
Oh. Is that a good way
to do that?

35
00:01:00,308 --> 00:01:02,225
I mean, spices are so small.

36
00:01:02,226 --> 00:01:04,610
Listen, you know how much
I like your food, right?

37
00:01:04,696 --> 00:01:05,728
Yeah. Thanks.

38
00:01:05,813 --> 00:01:07,531
I just got off the phone

39
00:01:07,532 --> 00:01:09,533
with a journalist
for Coasters magazine.

40
00:01:09,534 --> 00:01:12,152
They're doing a piece
on unknown restaurants.

41
00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:14,071
It's like an "undiscovered gems"
kind of thing.

42
00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:17,323
I told them they should try
your place, Bob.

43
00:01:17,408 --> 00:01:18,909
Oh, that's great.

44
00:01:18,910 --> 00:01:20,744
I mean, we're not unknown, Skip.

45
00:01:20,745 --> 00:01:23,079
I mean, I feel like
we're sort of under-known.

46
00:01:23,131 --> 00:01:24,381
No, I know.

47
00:01:24,382 --> 00:01:25,632
But here's the thing,

48
00:01:25,633 --> 00:01:27,467
they have to do it today.

49
00:01:27,468 --> 00:01:30,087
Can you do 3:00, Bob?
Uh, yeah!

50
00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:31,971
Great! This'll really
put you on the map.

51
00:01:32,056 --> 00:01:33,222
Wow. Thank you.

52
00:01:33,257 --> 00:01:35,092
Did I tell you
I'm in a helicopter?

53
00:01:35,093 --> 00:01:37,010
Yep. Yep, that's great.

54
00:01:37,011 --> 00:01:39,096
This is exciting.
Guess who that was?

55
00:01:39,097 --> 00:01:40,314
Uh... Alive or dead?

56
00:01:40,315 --> 00:01:41,565
No. Linda.

57
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:43,183
It was Skip Marooch.

58
00:01:43,184 --> 00:01:44,935
Oh. That's why you
said "Skip Marooch"

59
00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:46,186
when you picked up the phone.

60
00:01:46,187 --> 00:01:47,938
He told this magazine
writer about us

61
00:01:47,939 --> 00:01:49,656
and now he's coming here
this afternoon at 3:00

62
00:01:49,657 --> 00:01:51,274
to do a profile on us.

63
00:01:51,275 --> 00:01:52,775
He's bringing
a photographer with him.

64
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:54,361
I hope it's Annie Leibovitz.

65
00:01:54,362 --> 00:01:56,746
I wanna be pregnant
and painted like Demi Moore!

66
00:01:56,781 --> 00:01:58,782
What magazine is it?
‭Coasters.

67
00:01:58,783 --> 00:02:00,334
(gasps) Coasters?

68
00:02:00,335 --> 00:02:01,785
Coasters.
‭Wow.

69
00:02:01,786 --> 00:02:03,286
You read Coasters?

70
00:02:03,287 --> 00:02:04,504
Everybody reads Coasters.

71
00:02:04,505 --> 00:02:05,956
It's that free magazine.

72
00:02:05,957 --> 00:02:07,257
You can't not read Coasters.

73
00:02:07,258 --> 00:02:08,675
Aunt Gayle bought me
a subscription.

74
00:02:08,676 --> 00:02:10,543
But now I'm finding out
it's free.

75
00:02:10,628 --> 00:02:12,379
A profile! Oh!

76
00:02:12,380 --> 00:02:13,630
That's practically the cover!

77
00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:15,432
What am I gonna wear?

78
00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:17,134
Wait, what are you gonna wear?
Are you ready for this?

79
00:02:17,135 --> 00:02:18,552
I'm... yeah, of course.

80
00:02:18,553 --> 00:02:19,803
I mean, I've done
interviews before.

81
00:02:19,804 --> 00:02:20,969
When?
‭ln the bathtub.

82
00:02:20,972 --> 00:02:22,179
I do both parts.

83
00:02:22,223 --> 00:02:23,106
How do they go?

84
00:02:23,107 --> 00:02:24,107
Uh... Some go well.

85
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:25,274
I walked out of one.

86
00:02:25,309 --> 00:02:26,309
What were they asking you?

87
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:27,561
Were they ding-dong questions,

88
00:02:27,562 --> 00:02:28,611
and you didn't want to go there?

89
00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:29,896
Maybe this afternoon,

90
00:02:29,897 --> 00:02:31,231
if you could all just act...

91
00:02:31,232 --> 00:02:32,733
like normal people that are...

92
00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,201
totally different people...

93
00:02:34,202 --> 00:02:35,651
than the people that you are.

94
00:02:35,737 --> 00:02:37,821
I'll be Tina.
Tina, you be me.

95
00:02:37,822 --> 00:02:39,989
Okay. I'll be Gene,
I like his whole deal.

96
00:02:40,074 --> 00:02:41,207
Also, no more gooping.

97
00:02:41,292 --> 00:02:42,709
No more future goopings.

98
00:02:42,710 --> 00:02:43,876
You got it, buddy.

99
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,412
Louise, I am serious.

100
00:02:45,413 --> 00:02:47,247
Yeah, there will be no
goopings put into action

101
00:02:47,248 --> 00:02:49,633
excluding any and all
current or existing goopings

102
00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:50,917
that have heretofore been laid.

103
00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:52,168
Oh, my God.

104
00:02:52,253 --> 00:02:54,171
This could be big for us.

105
00:02:54,172 --> 00:02:55,505
I know, it's friggin'
Coasters, Bob.

106
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:57,007
Hey, maybe you should do

107
00:02:57,008 --> 00:02:58,475
some practice questions
for your interview.

108
00:02:58,476 --> 00:02:59,892
Um, okay, sure.

109
00:02:59,977 --> 00:03:01,178
Okay, here we go.

110
00:03:01,179 --> 00:03:03,513
Who is Bob Belcher?

111
00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:05,849
What is Bob Belcher?

112
00:03:05,850 --> 00:03:08,518
Where is Bob Belcher?

113
00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:10,771
Okay, Lin, that...
Why is Bob Belcher?

114
00:03:10,772 --> 00:03:12,189
They're not gonna ask
questions like that.

115
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:14,024
Ever.
‭Why? No, yeah.

116
00:03:14,025 --> 00:03:15,275
And you're waving
a knife in my face,

117
00:03:15,276 --> 00:03:16,493
which is making me nervous, Lin.

118
00:03:16,494 --> 00:03:18,278
You're rattled. Good.

119
00:03:18,279 --> 00:03:20,030
That's the first honest thing
you've said all day.

120
00:03:20,031 --> 00:03:22,282
Ooh. Oh, I think I might
be getting diarrhea.

121
00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:23,500
Okay, too honest.

122
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:24,917
Oh... Panic poops.

123
00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,703
Oh, my God.

124
00:03:26,704 --> 00:03:28,205
I keep forgetting Gene
clogged the employee toilet.

125
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:30,841
Yeah, he flushed all his old
stuffed animals down there.

126
00:03:30,842 --> 00:03:32,709
He's a big boy now.
Right. I know.

127
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:33,959
It's just...
we should deal with it.

128
00:03:34,045 --> 00:03:35,262
No. He isn't ready.

129
00:03:35,263 --> 00:03:36,880
He visits 'em in there.

130
00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:38,882
Oh, boy. I'll use
the restaurant bathroom.

131
00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,683
♪ ♪

132
00:03:44,604 --> 00:03:46,523
BOB: Aah! Is there something
on this toilet seat?!

133
00:03:46,524 --> 00:03:47,773
Uh-oh, Dad!

134
00:03:47,859 --> 00:03:49,359
You just got gooped!
‭Ugh.

135
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,194
It was supposed to be for Gene,

136
00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:52,696
but he didn't take
his mid-morning bathroom break

137
00:03:52,697 --> 00:03:53,947
for some reason.

138
00:03:53,948 --> 00:03:55,649
I'm on a cheese cleanse!

139
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:57,733
Physically and spiritually!

140
00:03:57,819 --> 00:03:59,735
Louise, what exactly is this?

141
00:03:59,787 --> 00:04:01,238
It's grease or something.

142
00:04:01,239 --> 00:04:03,405
It was in a jar
Teddy left in the basement.

143
00:04:03,491 --> 00:04:04,741
(grunting quietly)

144
00:04:04,742 --> 00:04:06,075
Um, is it possible it's glue?

145
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,877
I don't know. Why?

146
00:04:07,912 --> 00:04:09,879
BOB: Because I'm stuck 
to the toilet!

147
00:04:12,263 --> 00:04:15,091
BOB: (groaning) I can't get up.

148
00:04:15,092 --> 00:04:16,659
Louise, you glued me
to the toilet.

149
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,662
It was supposed to be
slimy non-sticky goop,

150
00:04:19,663 --> 00:04:21,079
and it was supposed to be Gene!

151
00:04:21,131 --> 00:04:22,130
The door's locked.

152
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:23,416
BOB:
I know!

153
00:04:23,417 --> 00:04:24,917
I can't reach it!

154
00:04:24,918 --> 00:04:26,669
We need to get in there.
Oh, my God, Bob!

155
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,638
The guys from Coasters
are coming!

156
00:04:28,722 --> 00:04:30,673
BOB: Yes, Linda, 
I remember.

157
00:04:30,674 --> 00:04:33,509
God, I hate this stupid toilet
that Felix put in here!

158
00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:35,478
It doesn't even have a seat.
It's Swiss.

159
00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:37,095
It's like a really
nice prison toilet.

160
00:04:37,180 --> 00:04:39,181
BOB: Louise, what if a customer
came in here?

161
00:04:39,182 --> 00:04:40,733
They would have sued.

162
00:04:40,734 --> 00:04:42,434
I'm your dad,
and I wanna sue you!

163
00:04:42,486 --> 00:04:44,353
What about Teddy? Sue him.

164
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:46,821
Leaving his goop everywhere,
just taunting me with it.

165
00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:48,774
Classic goop suit.

166
00:04:48,775 --> 00:04:50,775
BOB: Linda, call Teddy.
Yeah. Sue his ass!

167
00:04:50,827 --> 00:04:52,111
BOB: No, Tina, 
we're not...

168
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:53,612
He'll know how to fix this.

169
00:04:53,613 --> 00:04:55,664
Yeah. Call him
to ask him to fix it.

170
00:04:55,665 --> 00:04:58,117
(phone rings) Hello?

171
00:04:58,118 --> 00:05:00,786
Teddy, Bob had panic poops
because a magazine is coming,

172
00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:02,204
and then Louise put some stuff
you left in our basement

173
00:05:02,205 --> 00:05:03,622
on the toilet seat.

174
00:05:03,623 --> 00:05:05,174
It was something in a jar.

175
00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:07,009
And Bob sat in it
and he got stuck...

176
00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:08,377
Oh, my God.

177
00:05:08,378 --> 00:05:09,929
That's Teddy's Sticky Spackle!

178
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,464
Teddy's what?
‭Sticky Spackle!

179
00:05:11,465 --> 00:05:13,632
I invented it!
It's stronger than superglue.

180
00:05:13,633 --> 00:05:14,884
Well, how do you get it off?

181
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:16,384
You gotta use nail
polish remover.

182
00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:18,270
All right. I'll get
the nail polish remover,

183
00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:19,939
but you gotta come down
here as fast as you can

184
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,273
and get this door open.

185
00:05:21,274 --> 00:05:22,807
Listen, I-I would,
but I just started

186
00:05:22,859 --> 00:05:24,443
a therapy session.

187
00:05:24,444 --> 00:05:26,779
Dr. Marjorie says
that I spend all my time

188
00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,280
fixing things for other
people, so who fixes me?

189
00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:29,532
Aw, screw it!

190
00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:30,816
Bob needs me.

191
00:05:30,817 --> 00:05:32,485
I'm coming as fast
as I can, Linda!

192
00:05:32,486 --> 00:05:34,737
(bell dinging) ‭Uh-oh.
We got customers.

193
00:05:34,738 --> 00:05:36,155
Gene, put an out-of-order
sign on the door.

194
00:05:36,156 --> 00:05:37,322
On it.
‭Good.

195
00:05:37,374 --> 00:05:38,741
Wait, what should it say?

196
00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:40,159
"Out of order:
Dad stuck on toilet."

197
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,877
BOB: No.

198
00:05:41,878 --> 00:05:44,245
What about, "Out of order:
toilet cursed with evil!"

199
00:05:44,331 --> 00:05:46,832
BOB: Kids, just... stop drawing
attention to the door.

200
00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,500
Go help your mother.
(bell dinging)

201
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:49,835
Hi, Linda!

202
00:05:49,836 --> 00:05:51,420
I'm ready to make Bob pretty.

203
00:05:51,421 --> 00:05:53,671
I brought my scissors
and my tweezers.

204
00:05:53,723 --> 00:05:55,508
Oh, oh, hi, Gretchen!

205
00:05:55,509 --> 00:05:56,842
(whispering):
Gretchen's here, Bob.

206
00:05:56,843 --> 00:05:58,010
She's gonna get you
camera-ready.

207
00:05:58,011 --> 00:05:59,511
Kids, go wait on
the other customers.

208
00:05:59,596 --> 00:06:01,313
Everything's gonna be okay.

209
00:06:01,314 --> 00:06:02,815
(sighs)

210
00:06:02,816 --> 00:06:05,267
Everything's gonna be okay.

211
00:06:05,268 --> 00:06:08,654
♪ Bad stuff happens
in the bathroom ♪

212
00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:12,908
♪ I'm just glad that it
happens in a vacuum ♪

213
00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:16,695
♪ Can't let them see me
with my pants down ♪

214
00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:20,199
♪ Coasters magazine is gonna be
my big chance now ♪

215
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,036
♪ But I'll be outta
here in no time ♪

216
00:06:24,037 --> 00:06:27,756
♪ I'll be doing interviews
and feelin' just fine ♪

217
00:06:27,757 --> 00:06:31,260
♪ Today is gonna be
a great day ♪

218
00:06:31,261 --> 00:06:32,595
♪ I'll do Coasters magazine ♪

219
00:06:32,596 --> 00:06:35,848
♪ And blow everyone away ♪

220
00:06:35,849 --> 00:06:38,551
♪ Let's be clear ♪

221
00:06:38,552 --> 00:06:40,603
♪ I did absolutely
nothing wrong ♪

222
00:06:40,604 --> 00:06:43,054
♪ I'm not to blame,
it's not my fault ♪

223
00:06:43,139 --> 00:06:46,025
♪ This is just to say ♪

224
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:48,944
♪ If Gene had pooped
like every day ♪

225
00:06:48,945 --> 00:06:50,896
♪ This would have all
just blown away ♪

226
00:06:50,897 --> 00:06:54,400
♪ But he'll be out of there
in no time ♪

227
00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:58,454
♪ No one's gonna blame me,
I'll be doing just fine ♪

228
00:06:58,455 --> 00:07:02,074
♪ Today is gonna be
a great day ♪

229
00:07:02,075 --> 00:07:04,043
♪ If Teddy can't
unstick my dad ♪

230
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,827
♪ I'll find another way. ♪

231
00:07:05,912 --> 00:07:08,080
Hey, where's Bob?
I wanna tell him

232
00:07:08,081 --> 00:07:09,914
I can smell him
from across the street.

233
00:07:09,966 --> 00:07:11,467
Yeah, Linda, where is Bob?

234
00:07:11,468 --> 00:07:13,218
I gotta do his hair
for the big interview.

235
00:07:13,219 --> 00:07:14,887
Interview?
What interview?

236
00:07:14,888 --> 00:07:16,839
Bob's got a big
magazine interview.

237
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,591
What, are they writing
an article on guys with mustaches

238
00:07:18,592 --> 00:07:19,925
you wanna punch?

239
00:07:19,926 --> 00:07:22,011
Zoom! (chuckles)

240
00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:24,346
I say "zoom" now.
You like it. ‭lt's okay.

241
00:07:24,347 --> 00:07:26,932
♪ Bad stuff happens in the bathroom ♪
♪ Let's be clear ♪

242
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:29,435
♪ I did absolutely nothing wrong ♪
♪ I'm just glad ♪

243
00:07:29,436 --> 00:07:31,820
♪ That it happens in a vacuum ♪
♪ I'm not to blame, it's not my fault ♪

244
00:07:31,821 --> 00:07:35,107
♪ This is just to say ♪
♪ Can't let them see me with my pants down ♪

245
00:07:35,108 --> 00:07:37,276
♪ If Gene had pooped like everyday ♪
‭♪ Coasters ‭magazine is gonna ♪

246
00:07:37,277 --> 00:07:39,612
♪ This would have all just blown away ♪
♪ Be my big chance now ♪

247
00:07:39,613 --> 00:07:41,413
♪ But he'll be outta here ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll be outta here ♪

248
00:07:41,414 --> 00:07:43,616
♪ In no time ♪ ‭♪ In no time ♪

249
00:07:43,617 --> 00:07:45,451
♪ I'll be doing interviews ♪
♪ No one's gonna blame me ♪

250
00:07:45,452 --> 00:07:46,952
♪ And feelin' just fine ♪
♪ I'll be doing just fine ♪

251
00:07:46,953 --> 00:07:48,253
♪ Today is gonna be ♪
♪ Today is gonna be ♪

252
00:07:48,254 --> 00:07:50,339
♪ A great day ♪ ‭♪ A great day ♪

253
00:07:50,340 --> 00:07:52,791
♪ I'll do Coasters magazine ♪
♪ If Teddy can't unstick my dad ♪

254
00:07:52,792 --> 00:07:56,961
♪ And blow everyone away. ♪
♪ I'll find another way. ♪

255
00:07:57,047 --> 00:07:58,681
(panting)

256
00:07:58,682 --> 00:07:59,932
Is he breathing?

257
00:07:59,933 --> 00:08:01,099
I rushed right over!

258
00:08:01,134 --> 00:08:02,634
Something's going on with Bob?

259
00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:04,303
No, no, no, it's just...

260
00:08:04,304 --> 00:08:05,938
um... the-the plumbing's
messed up.

261
00:08:05,939 --> 00:08:07,139
And, uh, Teddy's here to fix it.

262
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:08,691
Um, Teddy, where are your tools?

263
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:10,309
No time for tools, Linda!
Don't need 'em!

264
00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:11,192
BOB: Teddy! What are you doing?

265
00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:12,528
Don't worry, Bob.

266
00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:13,779
That was just a warm-up.

267
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:15,030
I'm taking my shirt off now.

268
00:08:15,031 --> 00:08:16,281
This is the real deal!

269
00:08:16,282 --> 00:08:18,868
- I'm loose. I got this.
- BOB: Teddy, no!

270
00:08:18,952 --> 00:08:20,869
(roars)

271
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:23,321
Oh, boy. ‭Okay. ‭Uh-oh.
‭Holy what the...

272
00:08:23,406 --> 00:08:24,873
Hi, everyone.

273
00:08:24,874 --> 00:08:26,374
Hi, Marshmallow.

274
00:08:26,459 --> 00:08:28,209
Hey, baby.
‭Ha!

275
00:08:28,294 --> 00:08:30,329
Bob's pooping in front
of his customers.

276
00:08:30,330 --> 00:08:32,464
Wrong, Jimmy!
He's not pooping.

277
00:08:32,465 --> 00:08:34,082
He's glued to the toilet.

278
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:36,752
Bob's glued to the toilet?

279
00:08:36,753 --> 00:08:39,420
Oh... People need to see this!

280
00:08:39,506 --> 00:08:41,340
Jimmy!
Jimmy, where are you going?

281
00:08:41,341 --> 00:08:43,392
Hey, everybody in the world!

282
00:08:43,393 --> 00:08:45,344
Bob Belcher is stuck
to the toilet!

283
00:08:45,345 --> 00:08:46,679
Yeah! Yeah, you!

284
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,731
Hey, over there!
Come here!

285
00:08:47,814 --> 00:08:48,897
Linda?

286
00:08:48,898 --> 00:08:51,818
Bob?
‭Kill me.

287
00:08:52,078 --> 00:08:53,811
Come on in, folks!

288
00:08:53,812 --> 00:08:56,155
Come see the sad man
stuck to the can!

289
00:08:56,156 --> 00:08:57,440
(laughs)

290
00:08:57,441 --> 00:08:58,691
It's hilarious.

291
00:08:58,692 --> 00:09:01,159
(people chattering)

292
00:09:01,245 --> 00:09:04,163
Gene, thanks for telling
everyone I'm glued to a toilet.

293
00:09:04,164 --> 00:09:05,781
I only told Jimmy Pesto.

294
00:09:05,833 --> 00:09:06,949
Jimmy Pesto told everyone.

295
00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:08,117
I did post it on social media,

296
00:09:08,118 --> 00:09:09,419
but people are cool there.

297
00:09:09,420 --> 00:09:11,036
They won't blab it up.

298
00:09:11,121 --> 00:09:13,339
Teddy, please tell me you can
get me off this toilet.

299
00:09:13,340 --> 00:09:14,957
Yes, I can.

300
00:09:14,958 --> 00:09:17,510
We just have to apply
and reapply nail polish remover

301
00:09:17,511 --> 00:09:19,462
to your legs and underbutt

302
00:09:19,463 --> 00:09:21,764
and, in a few hours...
voilà! You're free.

303
00:09:21,765 --> 00:09:24,300
A few hours?
That's the best you can do?

304
00:09:24,301 --> 00:09:27,103
Teddy, the guys from Coasters
are gonna be here before then!

305
00:09:27,104 --> 00:09:28,771
We gotta hurry!
JIMMY: Hey, Bob,

306
00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:30,189
if this is the dumbest thing

307
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:31,557
that's ever happened
to you, flush once.

308
00:09:31,558 --> 00:09:33,810
(Jimmy snickers) Oh, God, Lin.

309
00:09:33,811 --> 00:09:35,227
Please close the restaurant.

310
00:09:35,312 --> 00:09:37,063
Bob, maybe this is good.

311
00:09:37,064 --> 00:09:38,731
When the guys from
Coasters get here,

312
00:09:38,732 --> 00:09:40,483
all they're gonna see
is a crowded restaurant.

313
00:09:40,484 --> 00:09:42,201
"Oh, there's a bunch of
people waiting in the street?

314
00:09:42,202 --> 00:09:43,486
"What are they waiting for?

315
00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:44,870
Must be Bob's Burgers!"

316
00:09:44,955 --> 00:09:46,488
Wait, there's people
in the street?

317
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,374
No. Okay, a few.

318
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,076
All right, a lot.
And a news truck. What?

319
00:09:50,077 --> 00:09:51,494
But we're gonna get
you off that toilet

320
00:09:51,495 --> 00:09:53,045
and ready for that interview.
Right, Teddy?

321
00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:54,664
I'm brushin' like
the wind, Linda.

322
00:09:54,665 --> 00:09:56,499
Gretchen can come in
here and do your hair.

323
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,084
No. ‭And I'm gonna go upstairs

324
00:09:58,085 --> 00:09:59,669
and pick out a nice shirt
that shows off that...

325
00:09:59,670 --> 00:10:01,054
that you have shirts.

326
00:10:01,055 --> 00:10:02,338
I don't have shirts.

327
00:10:02,339 --> 00:10:03,973
Kids, guard the sheet door.

328
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,674
TINA: You got it, Mom.
GENE: No one gets through this sheet!

329
00:10:05,759 --> 00:10:07,560
All right. And Gretchen,
you're in, let's go!

330
00:10:07,561 --> 00:10:09,011
Except Gretchen.

331
00:10:09,012 --> 00:10:11,514
Hi, Bob. Lookin' good.
Oh, my God.

332
00:10:11,515 --> 00:10:13,015
Oh, please.
Like I haven't done

333
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:14,851
somebody's hair
on a toilet before.

334
00:10:14,852 --> 00:10:17,353
We're outside Bob's Burgers,
where a local grill cook

335
00:10:17,354 --> 00:10:19,906
has gone from rush order
to flush order.

336
00:10:19,907 --> 00:10:21,991
He's glued to
his restaurant's toilet.

337
00:10:21,992 --> 00:10:24,026
I'm here with another
local restaurateur.

338
00:10:24,027 --> 00:10:25,862
What's your take on this?

339
00:10:25,863 --> 00:10:27,530
This is the best day of my life.

340
00:10:27,531 --> 00:10:28,865
Oh, uh, I hate Bob.

341
00:10:28,866 --> 00:10:30,199
I should have started with that.

342
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,034
Are we live?
Come to Jimmy Pesto's.

343
00:10:32,035 --> 00:10:33,535
Across the street.
It's delicious...

344
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:34,921
Same thing happened to me.

345
00:10:34,922 --> 00:10:36,539
I was there for three weeks.

346
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,874
I didn't call for help.

347
00:10:37,875 --> 00:10:39,459
I had self-respect.

348
00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:41,377
I drank toilet water
to stay alive.

349
00:10:41,378 --> 00:10:42,795
You flush, you drink.

350
00:10:42,796 --> 00:10:43,962
Anyone can do it.

351
00:10:43,963 --> 00:10:47,996
Ed ‭TEST TEST.

352
00:10:47,997 --> 00:10:49,936
Ey, I ‭TEST.

353
00:10:49,937 --> 00:10:51,187
Nothing to see here.

354
00:10:51,188 --> 00:10:52,889
Yeah, stand back, Lucy Lius.

355
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:54,106
Five-foot perimeter.

356
00:10:54,191 --> 00:10:55,892
Hello, Belcher children.

357
00:10:55,893 --> 00:10:57,643
I need to get inside with Charac

358
00:10:57,644 --> 00:11:00,146
so he can do a portrait
of your father on the toilet.

359
00:11:00,147 --> 00:11:02,564
We're going to print them,
and we're gonna make a fortune.

360
00:11:02,616 --> 00:11:03,950
Oh, sure.

361
00:11:03,951 --> 00:11:05,201
Come right in.
That sounds great.

362
00:11:05,202 --> 00:11:07,068
Wrong!
Step off, big man.

363
00:11:07,154 --> 00:11:08,871
(chuckling): I assure you,

364
00:11:08,872 --> 00:11:10,406
it will be tasteful.

365
00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:11,707
No?

366
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,075
No, I'm hearing no.
(clears throat)

367
00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:14,911
Uh, we're gonna
step away for a moment

368
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:16,879
and have a little conference.
I'll be right back.

369
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:18,381
Aah! We're running out of time.

370
00:11:18,382 --> 00:11:19,632
The magazine people
will be here soon.

371
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:21,217
Shh!

372
00:11:21,218 --> 00:11:22,885
Don't worry your pretty
little bangs, all right?

373
00:11:22,886 --> 00:11:25,054
I got this handled.
I made a call.

374
00:11:25,055 --> 00:11:26,672
Not because it's my fault.
'Cause it's not.

375
00:11:26,673 --> 00:11:27,974
Who'd you call?
The Po-Po?

376
00:11:27,975 --> 00:11:29,174
That's what I call the Pope.

377
00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:30,927
Blue, yellow. Blue, yellow.

378
00:11:30,928 --> 00:11:32,093
I don't know. I don't know.

379
00:11:32,179 --> 00:11:33,596
Lin, just pick one.

380
00:11:33,597 --> 00:11:34,931
You've been doing this
for 45 minutes.

381
00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:36,265
You're distracting me.

382
00:11:36,266 --> 00:11:37,600
Now I gotta start over.

383
00:11:37,601 --> 00:11:38,901
Blue, yellow.
Blue, yellow.

384
00:11:38,902 --> 00:11:40,820
No, the yellow one
goes better with the toilet.

385
00:11:40,821 --> 00:11:42,772
Well, I'm not gonna be
on the toilet, right Teddy?

386
00:11:42,773 --> 00:11:44,072
How we doing?

387
00:11:44,107 --> 00:11:46,108
Uh, doing good, Bob.
Doing real good.

388
00:11:46,109 --> 00:11:47,243
(quietly): We're not doing good.

389
00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:48,828
Teddy, I can hear you.

390
00:11:48,829 --> 00:11:50,112
No, you can't.
The hair dryer's on.

391
00:11:50,113 --> 00:11:51,280
(quietly): This is a disaster.

392
00:11:51,281 --> 00:11:52,949
It's not working, Linda.

393
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:54,499
The hair dryer is off, Teddy.
I can hear every...

394
00:11:54,585 --> 00:11:56,536
I can't hear you
over the hair dryer, Bobby!

395
00:11:56,537 --> 00:11:57,787
Teddy, it's off.

396
00:11:57,788 --> 00:11:59,455
Turn off the hair dryer!

397
00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:01,958
Oh, I might be getting a little
weird from the fumes, Bob.

398
00:12:01,959 --> 00:12:03,258
Are you getting
a little weird from the fumes?

399
00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:04,794
What's "Yappening?"

400
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:06,179
Dr. Yap's in the bathroom.

401
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:08,130
Yap? What are you doing here?

402
00:12:08,131 --> 00:12:09,681
I called him, Dad.
He's a fixer.

403
00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:11,384
He's gonna get you off of there.

404
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:13,186
Let's see what's going on
down here.

405
00:12:13,187 --> 00:12:14,637
(sighs)
Louise, why would you call him?

406
00:12:14,638 --> 00:12:16,137
He's our dentist.

407
00:12:16,223 --> 00:12:19,141
Which is a type of doctor,
which is what you need.

408
00:12:19,142 --> 00:12:20,443
And a doctor's
a type of dentist.

409
00:12:20,477 --> 00:12:22,027
That is not true.

410
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:24,197
And dentist comes
from the word "Al dente,"

411
00:12:24,198 --> 00:12:25,698
which means, "The dent."

412
00:12:25,699 --> 00:12:28,034
Bob, I work with
adhesives and solvents.

413
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:30,203
I'm exactly the guy
you need right now.

414
00:12:30,204 --> 00:12:32,488
There is a very special,
harmless dental solvent

415
00:12:32,489 --> 00:12:34,574
that can quickly
and painlessly break down the glue

416
00:12:34,575 --> 00:12:35,825
under your tushy.

417
00:12:35,826 --> 00:12:37,076
Really? That's great.

418
00:12:37,077 --> 00:12:38,327
One problem.

419
00:12:38,328 --> 00:12:40,162
I do not currently have any,

420
00:12:40,163 --> 00:12:42,465
but what I could do is get
the necessary certifications,

421
00:12:42,466 --> 00:12:44,000
put in an order,
and have some delivered

422
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,635
in the next two or three months.

423
00:12:45,636 --> 00:12:47,336
So, should I just
go ahead and do that?

424
00:12:47,337 --> 00:12:49,005
I'm a notary, if that helps.

425
00:12:49,006 --> 00:12:51,724
That's your plan?
I vouched for you, dentist.

426
00:12:51,725 --> 00:12:53,643
(sighs) We're dead.

427
00:12:53,644 --> 00:12:55,510
We're done.
You know, there is another option.

428
00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:57,429
There he is.
There's my boy.

429
00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:58,564
What is it?
What do you got, Yap?

430
00:12:58,565 --> 00:12:59,764
In the dental game,

431
00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:01,684
you tie a string around a tooth,

432
00:13:01,685 --> 00:13:02,851
and yank it out.

433
00:13:02,903 --> 00:13:04,352
- Oh, my God.
- Hear him out.

434
00:13:04,404 --> 00:13:05,905
You are the tooth,

435
00:13:05,906 --> 00:13:08,190
we numb your butt with Novocain,

436
00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:09,909
and we yank you off the toilet.

437
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:12,445
Done. Dental day-um.

438
00:13:12,446 --> 00:13:14,697
Perfect.
This was ringing so I answered it.

439
00:13:14,698 --> 00:13:15,865
It's for Bob.

440
00:13:15,866 --> 00:13:17,283
It's probably Hollywood.

441
00:13:17,284 --> 00:13:18,701
(whispering):
Tell them I want Bette Midler

442
00:13:18,702 --> 00:13:20,002
to play me.

443
00:13:20,003 --> 00:13:21,120
Need Bette Midler

444
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:22,337
to play me.
‭Hello?

445
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:24,373
Bob! It's Skip Marooch.

446
00:13:24,374 --> 00:13:26,375
I'm on an all-terrain vehicle!

447
00:13:26,376 --> 00:13:29,210
I can go on any terrain
with this vehicle.

448
00:13:29,263 --> 00:13:30,596
Uh, that's great.

449
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:32,514
Listen, you know
the Coasters guys?

450
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:33,466
Yeah?

451
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:34,767
I'm calling because I thought

452
00:13:34,768 --> 00:13:36,102
they were sending Brian,

453
00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:38,471
the nice Hidden Gems guy.
Uh-huh.

454
00:13:38,472 --> 00:13:40,773
Which would've been great,
but I just found out

455
00:13:40,774 --> 00:13:42,474
they're sending this guy,
Newton Fremont.

456
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,810
- Okay.
- And...

457
00:13:44,811 --> 00:13:46,195
let's just say
he's a little tougher.

458
00:13:46,196 --> 00:13:48,064
Like, you know,
if he doesn't like you,

459
00:13:48,065 --> 00:13:49,565
you're not getting in
the magazine.

460
00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:51,399
But you'll be fine,
it'll be fine.

461
00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:53,069
Right.

462
00:13:53,070 --> 00:13:54,987
Could we maybe reschedule
with the nice guy

463
00:13:54,988 --> 00:13:56,238
for another day?

464
00:13:56,239 --> 00:13:57,907
That would actually work for me,

465
00:13:57,908 --> 00:13:59,708
'cause today's been,
you know, busy.

466
00:13:59,743 --> 00:14:01,493
No, Bob, they're on their way.

467
00:14:01,578 --> 00:14:02,795
That was the whole thing.

468
00:14:02,796 --> 00:14:04,580
They have to come today.

469
00:14:04,581 --> 00:14:06,332
Look, I didn't mean
to freak you out.

470
00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:09,050
You'll be great with your face
and your funny jokes.

471
00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:11,087
Well, it's just I'm... I-I...

472
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:12,471
I'm stuck on a toilet.

473
00:14:12,472 --> 00:14:13,839
(laughs) See? Like that.

474
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,256
So funny. Use that.

475
00:14:15,342 --> 00:14:17,225
No, like I actually
got glued to...

476
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:18,811
Bob, I gotta call you back.

477
00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:20,930
I guess water does not
count as a terrain.

478
00:14:20,931 --> 00:14:22,597
I'm sinking.
Bye.

479
00:14:22,683 --> 00:14:25,267
Teddy, be honest with me.
How does it look?

480
00:14:25,268 --> 00:14:27,486
(crying):
It's just too much butt, Bob.

481
00:14:27,487 --> 00:14:29,938
Okay. Too much hair
all over your butt!

482
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:31,490
Teddy, stop.

483
00:14:31,491 --> 00:14:33,325
All right,
we're doing Yap's plan.

484
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:35,161
We order the solvent
that takes three months?

485
00:14:35,162 --> 00:14:36,745
That didn't sound
like a good idea.

486
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,831
No, we tie a rope around me,

487
00:14:38,832 --> 00:14:40,498
and you all yank me
off the toilet.

488
00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:42,418
Yes!

489
00:14:42,419 --> 00:14:44,954
I knew there was a reason
we brought you into this project.

490
00:14:44,955 --> 00:14:46,275
Ah-Yap-Yap-Yap-Yap-Yap!
(chuckles)

491
00:14:46,289 --> 00:14:48,758
All right, let's numb that bum.

492
00:14:48,759 --> 00:14:51,127
Well, the Novocain
should be taking effect

493
00:14:51,128 --> 00:14:52,461
right about now.

494
00:14:52,462 --> 00:14:53,713
You feel that?
Huh?

495
00:14:53,714 --> 00:14:55,213
You feel that?
Gene, stop.

496
00:14:55,298 --> 00:14:56,297
Okay, you ready Bob?

497
00:14:56,299 --> 00:14:57,133
I think so.

498
00:14:57,134 --> 00:14:58,466
Dad, I love you.

499
00:14:58,518 --> 00:14:59,268
Thanks, Tina.

500
00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:00,720
I love you too, Dad.

501
00:15:00,721 --> 00:15:02,471
I love you for real.
Not like these posers.

502
00:15:02,472 --> 00:15:04,473
Bobby, I love you!
You'll always be my husband.

503
00:15:04,474 --> 00:15:05,640
I love you, Bob.

504
00:15:05,692 --> 00:15:07,143
I'm not dying,

505
00:15:07,144 --> 00:15:09,528
I'm just getting
my butt skin ripped off

506
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,563
so I can be in a magazine.

507
00:15:11,648 --> 00:15:12,865
Okay, on the count of three,

508
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:14,950
we all pull Bob off the toilet.

509
00:15:14,951 --> 00:15:16,702
Quick pro tip:
When we start yanking,

510
00:15:16,703 --> 00:15:18,079
ignore the screams.

511
00:15:19,322 --> 00:15:20,989
- One...
- Oh, my God.

512
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,908
Two, buckle my shoe.

513
00:15:22,909 --> 00:15:25,044
Sorry, couldn't resist.
And three!

514
00:15:25,045 --> 00:15:28,664
(all groaning and straining,
Bob screaming)

515
00:15:28,665 --> 00:15:30,833
(continues screaming)
It's not working!

516
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:32,585
It's not working!

517
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:33,719
Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop!

518
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,504
It's gotta work.

519
00:15:35,505 --> 00:15:37,840
The guys from Coasters are gonna
be here any second.

520
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:40,008
And... we're here.
The guys from Coasters.

521
00:15:40,093 --> 00:15:42,991
Uh, his eyes are up here.

522
00:15:46,802 --> 00:15:48,937
Doesn't anyone knock anymore?

523
00:15:48,938 --> 00:15:50,772
Um, I don't knock on sheets

524
00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:52,506
'cause they're soft,
and they don't make a sound.

525
00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:55,310
I'm Newton Fremont, this is
my photographer Cory Battles.

526
00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:56,978
I'm here to shoot you. Ha.

527
00:15:56,979 --> 00:15:58,980
(chuckles) Nice one, Cory.
‭Thanks, Newt.

528
00:15:58,981 --> 00:16:00,981
And you must be undiscovered gem

529
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:02,283
Bob Belcher.

530
00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:03,902
Uh, yeah, that's me.

531
00:16:03,903 --> 00:16:06,044
I'd get up, but I'm, uh,
stuck to a toilet.

532
00:16:06,121 --> 00:16:07,572
Yeah. So we hear.

533
00:16:07,573 --> 00:16:08,906
That's what the T-shirts
say outside.

534
00:16:08,991 --> 00:16:10,658
They're selling T-shirts?

535
00:16:10,659 --> 00:16:12,550
Do you know if they carry youth large?
Gene.

536
00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:13,962
Uh, I got a question:

537
00:16:13,963 --> 00:16:15,495
why are you stuck to a toilet?

538
00:16:15,548 --> 00:16:17,332
Well, uh, it's a...
kid's prank...

539
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,666
gone very wrong.

540
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,747
It was supposed to be Gene.

541
00:16:19,802 --> 00:16:22,887
Whoa. That's a-mazing.

542
00:16:22,888 --> 00:16:25,089
On the day. Of your interview.
With Coasters.

543
00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:27,057
This couldn't be worse.

544
00:16:27,142 --> 00:16:28,560
I... I, uh...

545
00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:30,260
Wait, are you taking pictures?

546
00:16:30,346 --> 00:16:32,563
A.B.C.
Always be clicking.

547
00:16:32,648 --> 00:16:34,231
But you aren't gonna use these
in the article, right?

548
00:16:34,316 --> 00:16:36,517
What? No. Oh, no,
no, no, no, no.

549
00:16:36,518 --> 00:16:37,734
Oh, there's not gonna
be any article.

550
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:38,902
(gasps) No!

551
00:16:38,988 --> 00:16:40,271
But look at his hair.

552
00:16:40,272 --> 00:16:41,438
Wait, don't look at the top.

553
00:16:41,523 --> 00:16:42,991
You can still talk to him.

554
00:16:42,992 --> 00:16:44,359
He's just on the toilet.

555
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,610
Yeah!
I do it all the time!

556
00:16:45,611 --> 00:16:46,828
He doesn't expect
privacy anymore.

557
00:16:46,829 --> 00:16:47,995
We broke him.

558
00:16:48,030 --> 00:16:49,364
Here's the deal.

559
00:16:49,365 --> 00:16:50,615
We're doing a favor for Brian,

560
00:16:50,616 --> 00:16:51,866
who's doing a favor for Skip,

561
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:53,701
so we barely care about this.

562
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:55,620
Plus, we like to profile people

563
00:16:55,621 --> 00:16:57,422
who are unique and inspiring.

564
00:16:57,423 --> 00:16:58,673
You are unique.

565
00:16:58,674 --> 00:17:00,041
You are not inspiring.

566
00:17:00,042 --> 00:17:02,043
At all.
‭Yup.

567
00:17:02,044 --> 00:17:04,012
Also, Coasters magazine
is primarily read

568
00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:05,513
by people who are
sitting on the toilet.

569
00:17:05,514 --> 00:17:07,298
They do not want to
read about another guy

570
00:17:07,299 --> 00:17:09,384
who is also sitting on the toilet.
Got it.

571
00:17:09,385 --> 00:17:11,269
Plus, why haven't you
just taken the seat off?

572
00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:13,027
It doesn't have a seat.
‭lt's Swiss.

573
00:17:13,055 --> 00:17:14,055
That makes me sick.

574
00:17:14,056 --> 00:17:15,890
Hey, listen,

575
00:17:15,891 --> 00:17:17,392
this is just a crazy day.

576
00:17:17,393 --> 00:17:19,611
No, no, no, no, no.
It's fine.

577
00:17:19,612 --> 00:17:21,479
Actually, you know what?
This is perfect.

578
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,398
Lin, this isn't a crazy day.

579
00:17:23,399 --> 00:17:26,451
This is a perfectly
average day at Bob's Burgers.

580
00:17:26,452 --> 00:17:28,736
This kind of stuff
happens all the time,

581
00:17:28,737 --> 00:17:31,039
and I'm so glad you came by
to take it in!

582
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,990
(laughs crazily)

583
00:17:33,075 --> 00:17:36,077
Sorry we couldn't be
"inspiring" for you!

584
00:17:36,078 --> 00:17:37,879
I guess we just didn't
have it in us.

585
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,130
So... good-bye!

586
00:17:39,131 --> 00:17:40,381
You can leave!

587
00:17:40,382 --> 00:17:41,715
Thanks for stopping in!

588
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:43,418
Great outburst, Bob.

589
00:17:43,419 --> 00:17:44,892
Really great outburst.

590
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,894
(mournful music plays)

591
00:17:48,924 --> 00:17:50,308
Excuse me.
Comin' through here, guys.

592
00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:51,592
Par... excuse me.
Pardon us.

593
00:17:51,593 --> 00:17:52,810
Pardon.
‭Heads up, guys.

594
00:17:52,811 --> 00:17:54,095
Pardon.
Whoa, cool shirt, man.

595
00:17:54,096 --> 00:17:56,431
What is that, marker?
Yeah. Permanent.

596
00:17:56,432 --> 00:17:57,931
No! No! Wait! Wait!
Don't leave,

597
00:17:58,017 --> 00:17:59,434
I wanna say something.

598
00:17:59,435 --> 00:18:01,486
What my dad said
is kind of true.

599
00:18:01,487 --> 00:18:03,688
Yeah, stuff goes wrong
all the time.

600
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:05,239
But this thing today...

601
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,742
(sighs)
you know... it was my fault.

602
00:18:07,743 --> 00:18:09,243
And if I hadn't done this,

603
00:18:09,244 --> 00:18:11,829
my dad would be walking
around here right now,

604
00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:13,665
inspiring the crap out
of people.

605
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:16,117
He'd be making burgers...
really good burgers.

606
00:18:16,118 --> 00:18:17,452
Don't tell him I said that.

607
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:19,003
We try not to compliment him.

608
00:18:19,004 --> 00:18:21,673
So, yeah, sorry, Dad.

609
00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:23,541
This is all my fault.

610
00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:24,709
BOB: What?

611
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:26,294
I said it's all my fault!

612
00:18:26,295 --> 00:18:28,262
BOB: Oh. Okay.

613
00:18:28,263 --> 00:18:29,937
TEDDY: Everyone in here should
be ashamed of themselves.

614
00:18:29,965 --> 00:18:31,849
Standing around laughing at him.

615
00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:33,685
You see a guy stuck on a toilet

616
00:18:33,686 --> 00:18:35,970
and a shocking amount
of body hair.

617
00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,773
I see a beautiful toilet man.

618
00:18:38,774 --> 00:18:40,440
A toilet Bob.

619
00:18:40,476 --> 00:18:43,811
(chanting):
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!

620
00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:45,446
CROWD (chanting): Toilet Bob!

621
00:18:45,447 --> 00:18:47,148
BOB: No. No.
Toilet Bob!

622
00:18:47,149 --> 00:18:48,782
Please don't chant that.
TEDDY: No, it's in a good way.

623
00:18:48,817 --> 00:18:51,652
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!

624
00:18:51,653 --> 00:18:54,072
Come on, everybody!
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!

625
00:18:54,073 --> 00:18:55,455
BOB: I don't like it.

626
00:18:55,491 --> 00:18:57,208
How about just Bob?
(chanting continues)

627
00:18:57,209 --> 00:18:59,159
Just coast on outta here,
Coasters.

628
00:18:59,211 --> 00:19:00,801
Toilet Bob!

629
00:19:00,829 --> 00:19:03,497
Toilet Bob! Toilet Bob!

630
00:19:03,582 --> 00:19:05,499
Toilet Bob! Ha, ha!

631
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:06,833
Toilet Bob!

632
00:19:06,885 --> 00:19:08,184
(Bob screams)

633
00:19:10,389 --> 00:19:11,421
BOB: It worked.

634
00:19:11,507 --> 00:19:13,673
It finally worked!

635
00:19:13,726 --> 00:19:16,010
(cheering)

636
00:19:16,011 --> 00:19:17,344
BOB: I'm free! Yeah!

637
00:19:17,396 --> 00:19:18,980
Whoa. Whoa. Pins and needles.

638
00:19:18,981 --> 00:19:20,181
Can't feel my legs.

639
00:19:20,182 --> 00:19:21,848
Oh, going down.

640
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,734
(cheering)

641
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,410
(bell dinging)

642
00:19:26,488 --> 00:19:27,904
You guys want any of this stuff?

643
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:29,022
Y-You mean our mail?

644
00:19:29,108 --> 00:19:30,358
Just asking, Bob.

645
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:31,909
Don't snap at me.
‭Look!

646
00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:33,410
It's the latest issue
of Coasters!

647
00:19:33,495 --> 00:19:35,446
Linda, we're not in it...
they were very clear

648
00:19:35,447 --> 00:19:36,697
they weren't gonna
write about us,

649
00:19:36,698 --> 00:19:38,248
and I'm more
than okay with that.

650
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,334
Oh, you're in it.
Oh, my God, we're in it.

651
00:19:40,335 --> 00:19:41,668
What?
‭Read it, Dad, read it!

652
00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:44,539
"Bob's Burgers is more
than an undiscovered gem.

653
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:47,925
"It's truly a one-of-a-kind
mom-and-pop shop.

654
00:19:47,926 --> 00:19:50,378
"Celebrity chef Skip Marooch
swears that Bob's serves

655
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:52,213
"the best burger
he's ever eaten.

656
00:19:52,214 --> 00:19:53,881
"We wouldn't know.

657
00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:55,348
"We didn't try the food.

658
00:19:55,384 --> 00:19:57,351
"But we did have a rather unique

659
00:19:57,352 --> 00:19:59,887
"and strangely inspiring
experience while we were there.

660
00:19:59,888 --> 00:20:04,058
"This shabby little dive seems
to hold a special spot

661
00:20:04,059 --> 00:20:06,694
in this dingy town's heart."

662
00:20:06,695 --> 00:20:09,397
Do you think they mean "dinghy" town?
I don't think there's a...

663
00:20:09,398 --> 00:20:11,615
No, that's not a thing...
dinghy town.

664
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,317
Wow, that was kind of good.

665
00:20:13,318 --> 00:20:15,251
Louise, I-I think
you saved the day.

666
00:20:15,287 --> 00:20:16,904
Yeah, well, you know,

667
00:20:16,905 --> 00:20:18,539
this is the last time
I'm bailing you out, Dad.

668
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:19,964
Hey, they didn't even
mention the toilet.

669
00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:20,908
Oh, yeah.

670
00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:22,292
Uh, keep reading.

671
00:20:22,377 --> 00:20:25,245
"Also, Bob got stuck
to the toilet." Oh.

672
00:20:25,297 --> 00:20:26,304
Now turn the page.

673
00:20:26,381 --> 00:20:27,414
Oh, there's a picture

674
00:20:27,499 --> 00:20:29,299
of me on the toilet in Coasters.

675
00:20:29,384 --> 00:20:31,252
"We could tell you
how that happened,

676
00:20:31,253 --> 00:20:33,337
"but do yourself a favor,
visit Bob's Burgers

677
00:20:33,338 --> 00:20:35,089
"and ask him yourself.

678
00:20:35,090 --> 00:20:38,475
Hopefully, he'll be back
on his feet by then."

679
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,812
So... that's pretty
good, overall.

680
00:20:40,813 --> 00:20:42,763
Your hair looks good.

681
00:20:42,764 --> 00:20:43,930
Hey! This is the place!

682
00:20:44,016 --> 00:20:46,266
Yeah, this is it. Come on in.

683
00:20:46,351 --> 00:20:48,436
We got business.
Kids, grab some menus.

684
00:20:48,437 --> 00:20:49,770
Aah! ‭Aah! ‭Aah!

685
00:20:49,771 --> 00:20:52,273
We got gooped!
Gotcha!

686
00:20:52,274 --> 00:20:54,826
♪ Let's be clear ♪
♪ Bad stuff happens in the bathroom ♪

687
00:20:54,827 --> 00:20:57,328
♪ I did absolutely nothing wrong ♪
‭♪ I'm just glad ♪

688
00:20:57,329 --> 00:20:59,780
♪ I'm not to blame, it's not my fault ♪
♪ That it happens in a vacuum ♪

689
00:20:59,781 --> 00:21:02,700
♪ Let's just say ♪
♪ Can't let them see me with my pants down ♪

690
00:21:02,701 --> 00:21:05,453
♪ If Gene had pooped like every day ♪
‭♪ Coasters magazine is gonna be ♪

691
00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:07,371
♪ This would have all just blown away ♪
♪ My big chance now ♪

692
00:21:07,372 --> 00:21:10,931
♪ He'll be out of there
in no time ♪

693
00:21:10,959 --> 00:21:12,960
♪ I'll be doing interviews ♪
♪ No one's gonna blame me ♪

694
00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:14,512
♪ And feelin' just fine ♪
♪ I'll be doing just fine ♪

695
00:21:14,513 --> 00:21:17,515
♪ Today is gonna be
a great day ♪

696
00:21:17,516 --> 00:21:19,433
♪ I'll do Coasters magazine ♪
♪ If Teddy can't unstick my dad ♪

697
00:21:19,434 --> 00:21:24,945
♪ And blow everyone away ♪
♪ I'll find another way. ♪

698
00:21:24,946 --> 00:21:28,149
Sync and corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/